Work In Progress
I spent about 6 hours at the dentist on Monday. 6 hours. Me… the girl who is afraid of dentists and avoided the inevitable for years. But avoiding pain is futile. It always catches up with us.
If we try to navigate our lives around pain and settle for quick fixes, temporary relief, and soothing ourselves with our “drug” of choice, whether it’s busyness, entertainment, food, shopping, work, drinking, you name it…God in His grace will bring that pain back to us so we deal with it. You can only “take your mind off of it” for so long.
For me, this has been a time to confront some things in my life I’ve been avoiding because of fear. And that’s meant lots of doctor appointments, lots of streamlining my life, going through my 213,541 personal possessions and getting rid of what I don’t need, working out with a trainer, and having the courage to look at my life and how it lines up with what I say is important to me. It’s spiritual, emotional and yes very physical. It’s like when you have an older car and you know you need to get it in the shop and you’re gonna pay some big bucks to get it to where it needs to be but it’s better than having to get a new one.
I was kind of proud of myself for dealing with my dental fears. So Monday was my big day. My new dentist is just an exquisite person. Full of compassion, laughter and great skill. And everyone- I mean everyone- I have met on her team, equally as kind, gracious and skilled. So you can imagine how it felt for me, being with these great people and enduring a long dental appointment that included getting 2 crowns, (because that’s how I roll), a filling and a cleaning. I was good. They were working on me and all was going well and then…
the power went out. An area outage that BGE said would be restored by 5pm. But it was 3pm. I just want to be finished Lord. I’m facing my fear, this is uncomfortable and now I have to sit in it even longer. My mouth is numb and I’m prepped for my crowns. I have to wait? I may not get done? Really?
Yes really. So we hung out. Me and my new friends at EJM dental studio. Truly these people are exquisite, I tell you…heaven-sent for me. We laughed and shared stories of God showing up in our lives. I drooled a lot. We prayed together for the power to be restored. And it came back close to an hour before BGE said it would. So Dr. Morse began working on me again. All was going well until we realized the power outage affected some of the technology and it needed to be reset. One crown was in. And it fit perfectly. And now crown #2 on the way…it’s not fitting. More xrays. Try again. Still not fitting. I have issues. My neglect of caring for my teeth has created an issue that needs more work before this crown can be secured in place. All I wanted to hear was… “Tracey you’re finished”. But I’m not. We couldn’t finish that 2nd crown and I have to come back for more work. After 6 hours there’s more. And my heart sank and I almost began an ugly cry right there in the office.
But here’s what God showed me- the message I needed to hear the most:
Tracey- I’m not finished with YOU. I’m still working and there’s still more for you to do, more for you to be. When things are unfinished, lean into the beauty of knowing- God’s still working. And God always finishes what He starts. All the open-ended, not done stuff of life, the things in process, the projects, the hopes and dreams and yes, the ongoing dental appointments may be God’s Grace that you’re still here and in it. There’s more to learn and more to give and more, more, MORE! And in that I can rejoice.