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It’s Time To Be Nicer To Yourself. Here’s How…

circle mirror hanging on a grey wall and a person's hand reaching up to the mirror
April 17, 2023
Caroline Burk

The Bible tells us that “kind words are like honey, sweet to the soul and healthy for the body” (Proverbs 16:24). A verse in Ephesians echoes the same sentiment: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29)

These verses are clear: how we speak matters. We often apply verses like Proverbs 16:24 and Ephesians 4:29 to how we talk to others, and that’s wonderful. However, what about how we speak to ourselves?

A lot of us try our very best to be kind to one another. It’s something we learned as kids, but there’s less emphasis on the words we speak to the one looking back at us in the mirror.

Have you ever caught yourself casually saying negative things to yourself? It’s not uncommon to hear people throw around phrases like, “I’m stupid,” “I hate myself,” “I’m so ugly,” and many more self-deprecating comments. These words might not seem like a big deal in the moment, but they hold more weight than we give them credit for. Our words are powerful, and if we say negative things to ourselves enough, we will start to truly believe them.

Would we talk to others the way we talk to ourselves?

Would we approve of someone speaking to a person we love the way we speak to ourselves sometimes?

Or better yet, would Jesus Christ, who loves us more than we can fathom, speak to us the way we speak to ourselves?

If the answer is “no”, then that’s a sign we need to rethink the things we are saying about and to ourselves. God didn’t make us stupid, ugly, or worthless and it’s time we stop speaking and believing those lies.

Let’s start taking inventory of our self-talk. When we we think or speak about ourselves, we can hold what we say up to the standards of Ephesians 4:29…

  • Is what I’m saying unwholesome or rude?
  • Does how I’m speaking build my spirit up?
  • Is it beneficial for me to hear the things I’m saying about myself?

If what we’ve said doesn’t meet these standards, we can combat that negativity by speaking these powerful verses over ourselves instead:

Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”

Psalm 139:13-14 “For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Colossians 3:12 “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” 

Slowly but surely, we can start to be kinder to ourselves and learn to see ourselves the way Christ sees us!

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