Is There Grace For Me?

Is there grace for me? I was given a prescription by my doc for my sciatica pain that I am afraid to take because I know it makes me…a little cray-cray. You know…not like me, or at least the me I’ve come to know. It makes me feel hyper, buzzed with too much energy, unpredictable.

I don’t like to feel out of control of my mouth. 

When I’ve taken this in the past, I felt like my personality was a roller-coaster- one of those old creaky wooden ones that seems like it might just get stuck at the top of a big dip. I communicate on the radio every day about the Lord and I don’t want to ever be – not my best. 

I live with a husband I adore and I don’t want to be not my best for him. I have responsibilities and lots of people counting on me to be there and to be consistent. And this might make me inconsistent. 

And so I prayed this morning, Lord is there grace for me, when I don’t feel like me? Will YOU cover me, all the undignified parts of me? Will other people cover me and protect me from making a mess of things? Will YOU keep me from being embarrassed? Will YOU keep other people from judging me because I seem off? Will YOU hide me until I am NORMAL? 

And God spoke to my heart in the midst of my prayer.

Tracey, WHO made your mouth? Nothing you do or say will ever catch me off-guard. I can work ALL THINGS for MY GLORY. And there is always Grace. Grace may be working overtime even more when you think you’ve got it all together then when you know that you don’t. 

“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. 
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.”
-David, Psalm 139:1-4